FBI MEMOS
Memos from the ad agency

Part of my job is finding new business for the agency. One common approach is to send some of our materials, samples of our print ads, our radio and tv work (our reel), to marketing directors and CMOs and other assorted bigshots at various companies. I also send a pair of our very popular Frank/Best International drumsticks. After a week or two, I call to follow up with them. 98% of the time, I get voicemail, so I leave a message. Most of those messages don’t get returned. That’s no big deal, I know I’m cold calling them and I don’t take it personally.

So I wanted to send a holiday card to all the folks who didn’t return my call. I wrote a tongue-in-cheek ode, poking fun at the political correctness that has taken over the holiday season. The boss, Bobby Frank, thought it was funny, but was apprehensive about actually sending it out. I changed his mind at an after-hours meeting at our favorite watering hole. The whole point is to elicit a laugh and maybe someone will actually talk to me. It has worked before. Behold the beauty of my holiday greeting:

I sent you some drumsticks, our book and our reel,
Then I gave you a call, just to see how you feel.

Your phone rang and rang, but from you not a peep,
So I did what you asked — left my name at the beep.

I’ll admit you don’t know me, it was a cold call,
That you didn’t call back, I don’t blame you at all.

Still, - tis the season of goodwill and cheer,
So to get in the spirit of this time of year,

I’d sure like to wish a Merry Christmas to you,
I would, but I can’t, - cause my boss is a Jew.

At Frank/Best we love each religion and sect,
So it’s imperative that I be politically correct.

Happy Holidays.

It’s funny, Bobby feels that the word “Jew” is sort of offensive (or at least off-putting), yet the word “Jewish” is not. The problem is, “Jewish” doesn’t rhyme with anything.

Anyway, if you are looking for an ad agency, give me a call. You’ll get a free pair of drumsticks out of the deal.

(This is the blog for Frank Best International, an advertising agency in Nashville, Tennessee. We currently have a Christmas tree and a menorah on display in the lobby. Happy Hanukkah!)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007 at 10:10 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.